When Joy Seems Hard to Find

Are there times when joy is absent or do we choose to distance ourselves from our own bliss?

It is easy to get bogged down with all of the very real problems of the world.   We live with the false notion that life is passing us by and we are not achieving what we expected.  The feeling leaves us with a desperate need to work harder, to try harder, only to find that we feel tired, more afraid and fearful.

Today, I received a text from my dear friend telling me that this past Monday was Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year.   This is, of course, a marketing myth created by a company called Sky Blue, but it made me think about how we tend to fall into those “blue Mondays” – those dark holes we slip into every now and then.  It led me to ponder the question, “what does it take to pull ourselves out?”

A client emailed me today stating that she has been working hard to integrate my recommendations including trying to downplay her complaints and recognize more reasons to be happy and grateful.  She said that for the most part, the recommendations were working.  She recently accepted a job despite her fears that she was not intelligent enough.   The first days were tough for her, but she chose not to be swayed by negative thoughts.  Now she loves her new job and feels she is learning much.  She said that she still experiences some difficult days that have left her crying uncontrollably and feeling somewhat depressed.  Yet, she is willing to accept them as a part of life and continue moving forward. I congratulated her on the ability to remain steadfast on her journey toward healing.

It is important to remember that a commitment to a happier life does not mean that we always have to be happy or pretend that nothing troubles us.  In times of anguish and despair, it is important to take a moment and breathe.  Recognize the thoughts and feelings that are triggering the sadness.  Don’t allow yourself to linger or succumb.  Know that you have a right to be happy.  But you must choose to be happy.  I highly recommend these wonderful books, How We Choose to Be Happy by Rick Foster and Awakening Joy: 10 Steps That Will Put You on the Road to Real Happiness by James Baraz, to support you on your journey.

Blue Monday can become everyday of our lives or it can remain a bad marketing invention.  You have the power to decide.  Always!